posted by Josh Brahm, September 24, 2010 @ 10:12 am

Carrie’s 9 Tips for Talking to a Woman Considering Abortion

Download Audio MP3 | Duration: 00:41:45

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Carrie takes us through her list of 9 tips for talking to a woman considering an abortion. She originally wrote this for talking to women, but remember this can be used for men also.
A good quote by Frederica Matthewes Green to remember whenever speaking to someone who is pregnant, scared and considering an abortion is: “No one wants an abortion as she wants an ice-cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants to gnaw off its own leg.”
  1. Prepare – In prayer, having a safe place to meet (a neutral location with privacy is always good), and knowing the facts.
  2. Lovingly Listen – Use empathy – listen to her heart, allow her to feel comfortable with you and know that you care.  Remember be slow to speak, sometimes people just want to know someone will hear them out.  Part of this is also watching your words.  Steer away from judgmental comments, and be sure to use your words to personalize the issue – it’s not a “fetus,” but “your baby.” The more you can add human qualities to her child, the better.
  3. Relax – Be careful not to come down on them.  Don’t be pushy, that only makes them more stressed.  Calm is what they need to clear their mind.  Remember God is in control, not you and it’s His job to prod their heart, not yours.  It’s your job to be there and to give information and support.
  4. Extinguish Panic – There is a lot at stake with the choice of abortion – it’s a human life we are talking about!  But, before even dealing with that issue, one must allow the woman to breath and release panic.  She sees herself in an emergency situation that she wants to just go away.  One of the ways I try to alleviate panic is by turning to the fact that the law allows a woman to have an abortion during her entire 9 months a pregnancy.  This buys her time.  She doesn’t have to decide today.
  5. Ask Questions – I then get a feel for why abortion is an option and what their views on abortion are.  I can usually tell when a woman is going to regret her choice and know that all she needs is the facts, because her heart is already saying no.  If I see this I proceed.  Use some of David Purvis’ techniques to engage them in less stressful conversation.
  6. Remind Them of Reality – Women are already in a plan B situation.  Of course none of their 3 options are the one they wanted.  What they wanted was to not get pregnant, but now they are, so they need to proceed from that place.  Abortion does not take you back before you were pregnant; it kills your baby.
  7. Share the Facts – Development is important to know, even if they don’t care later, they need to know what happens to their baby at different steps in the process.  Also, share the benefits of adoption.  With adoption, I could see my child again with things I long to say, but with abortion I no longer have that choice.  Tell them the truth, abortion doubles a woman’s chance of breast cancer, it contributes to depression and other emotional issues, it increases the likelihood of infertility & miscarriage and can ultimately lead to death.   Remind them that one cannot trust information from people, like Planned Parenthood, who profit from the choice to abort.  The bottom line with abortion is money and they need to know it’s not really about choice.
  8. Encourage Research – When we look to buy anything we research don’t we…what computer to buy?  What car do we want most?  Where can we get the best deal…etc.  Encourage them to do their research, not to just take your word for it and talk to women who have had an abortion.  You can make it easy by supplying them with brochures or the number of a post-abortive woman who has agreed to let you pass it out for this purpose.
  9. Reassure Support – This step requires that you put your faith and love into action.  I remind women that if they choose to raise their child they will not be alone.  I will help or will help find others to help.  If I am going to tell them the problem with abortion, then I need to be apart of the solution.  If they choose to abort, then let them know when they are met with regret that you can show them the way to find healing and freedom.  You don’t support the decision, but you know if they make it, you will help them find the resources to deal with it.

Want to share this information with your friends? Download this printer-friendly version. (Of course, after you tell them to listen to the show!)

Crisis Pregnancy Hotline Number: 1-800-395-HELP

Download the source for the statistic Josh quoted saying “Dr. Warren Hern reported that baby parts are left in the woman’s body 5-10 percent of the time.

Click here to download the New York Times article.